A Day Of Being Wild

I always thought one-minute flies by. But sometimes it really lingers on. Once, a person pointed at his watch and said to me, that because of that minute, he’d always remember me. It was so charming listening to that. But now I look at my watch and tell myself that I have to forget this man starting this very minute — Wong Kar-Wai

A title from one of Wong Kar-Wai’s movies that suddenly relatable to my recent experience. When you haven’t had sex for almost 3 years and realize that you are getting older day by day. You have no idea where to start, of course, it’s not hard for you to find someone to fuck, but that laziness is interfering with your plans. Not lazy, but fed up it seems. If I’m just looking for a dick, if only I could feel horny just by looking at a muscular body, if only it was that easy to arouse my sex drive then I will become a very wild tabby.

A very muscular young man suddenly came to approach you. Once again. For a moment your wild imagination drives you crazy. A boy who is almost 4 years younger than you, hi old lady why don’t you open your crotch. Stop there, I hate myself for still imagining even though I know this act is very disgusting. Oh god, I miss having sex. I almost died and went crazy over it. But I hate it when I have to fuck stupid men. Their brains are the same as most people. Oh no, it makes me sick.

Last night I was forced to call my mother, she suddenly burst into tears (because I didn’t call her for almost 2 months), she said she was worried about me, afraid that I would be kidnapped and become a victim of human trafficking (LOL, I pray every night if I can become a victim of human traffickers). I said, stop! stop wasting your time worrying about me. I’m just doing fine. I can take care of myself. Then still crying she replied “I’m worried because you’re not married yet, and no one takes care of you”

FUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!

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I write because it releases all the ugliness that I could never say and all the beauty I can’t share in any other form or way.

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